OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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