worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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