VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
