Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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