if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
