Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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