this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
