I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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