We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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