i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
