when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
