Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
