i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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