Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
