it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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