Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
