love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
