She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
