I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I love you. Go after that dick
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
