I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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