yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
