dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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