No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
