Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
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The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
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I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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