What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
and you fell through a lawn chair
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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