Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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