And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
