after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
