My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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