i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
