Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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