Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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