who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize