roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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