dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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