I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
