just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
