as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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