Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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