She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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