When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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