he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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