How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
