my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
