he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize