Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
