morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
