I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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