If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
