Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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