If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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