Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
