life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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