Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
