was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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