i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
