flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just googled if crying burns calories
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
