Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize