Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
