make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you mean i was at the winter classic?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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