Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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