just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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