Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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