I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
