If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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