Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
