that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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