The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
