Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
