Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
