that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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