My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
